No Other Way

by Hanna Baker

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. ~ Zephaniah 3:17, NIV

Nearing the end of my teens, I experienced a variety of disappointments, heartaches and life changes. Throw in a dash of rebellion, and knowing that God was trying to teach me some things that I didn’t want to learn, and I was at the point of being an emotional & spiritual wreck. 

The summer I was twenty, it became clear that God was asking me to trust Him at a deeper level. He didn’t give me specifics – just that I needed to trust Him. No matter what He asked me to do, where He asked me to go, what sacrifices may come, God wanted me to be willing to say, “yes.” The events of the last few years, however, had elicited a belief that God orchestrated events for the good of His Kingdom, for the good of those around me, and even for my own, long-term good, but I no longer had the confidence that He really cared about my dreams, my plans, and my happiness. If I was going to truly enjoy my life, the road He was taking me down didn’t seem to be the one I wanted.

I reached a point where I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a Christian anymore, even considering how to explain my rejection of Jesus to my family & friends. Would I admit my unbelief, or just gradually pull away from God while still going through the motions of church involvement? Walking in obedience to God seemed too hard, too discouraging, and too scary. 

     At this climax, God put me through three days where He showed me what life is like without Jesus. I’d given Christ my life by age four, so had never had a concept of how empty an existence a God-less life would be. For those three days, He seemed to step back, removing Himself from my life. Even the darkest days prior to this did not compare to the emptiness, the shallowness, the pain of having an actual, God-less vacuum in my heart; there was no peace, no comfort, nothing but God’s still small voice in the distance asking, “Will you trust me?”

After three days, I finally said yes. I could only echo Peter’s response when Jesus asked if the disciples would also leave Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:67-69, NIV  And with that yes, I learned that it’s ok to question. It’s ok to walk through hard periods, to wonder what God is doing and not understand why it hurts so much. It’s ok to have dreams. It’s ok to see dreams shattered. The purpose of life isn’t just my happiness, nor is it just plodding through life trying to change the world – it’s about trusting Jesus, letting Him change me, shape me, and conform me into the vessel that He can use. It’s about learning to rejoice in Jesus during the good times, and to fall back into His peace and strength in the bad. The truth is that He does love me, He values me, and He treasures me. I can never be fully happy and enjoy life unless I’m living it exactly where God wants me to be. I have discovered my deepest happiness, enjoyment, and satisfaction rests in the center of God’s will for my life!

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, 
    New International Version®, NIV®. 
    Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™  
    Used by permission of Zondervan. 
    All rights reserved worldwide.
    www.zondervan.com